Perfect or Good Enough Parent... what do you strive to be? How does one or the other take a toll on your mental health?
From our article in the Compass "I imagine 90% of parents right now are the worst teachers that ever existed; the statistic is probably more like 95% but I am a nice person. How is it you're supposed to manage your own stress, take care of yourself, the household, do your own job from home, manage your kids' lives, and be their teacher? There is no perfection. Unless you're of the .0001 % supermoms, an actual teacher, or had dreams of being a teacher, this is probably difficult. Every kid, even those high schoolers in need of graduating high school this year, are in the same boat. What’s the worst that will happen if your kid, and 90% of kids that are a bit behind because of this? They will be a bit behind. That won’t make them unique, just a product of reality. Be gentle on yourself. Do the best you can with what you have, and not at the expense of your own mental health."
Do your kids have food, water, shelter, a few toys, some books, and have been getting educated? Wow, incredible, way more than most. Do you have a discipline plan in place that does not include capital punishment, physical, emotional, or verbal abuse? Amazing, you're good enough. Do you limit your alcohol use around the kids, dont pass out drunk in front of them, on the couch, and do not go on belligerent rants? Great, good enough parenting. You dont do illegal drugs, or have illegal activity going on in the house and around your children. Good enough parent. Are you able to give each child in your household at least 5 minutes of one on one time, where you focus solely on them and what they want? Incredible. Do you provide them with fresh fruits and veggies... OMG, extra star. That's amazing, as a lot of parents cant provide that for their kids... and you know what? They are good enough parents too. Do you hug and kiss your child, say "I love you" cheer them on when they do well, and help them process when something doesnt go their way? Awesome. You are a good enough parent. Everything else is extra, and sometimes, especially times, like these we dont have the extra stuff in us... all we have is good enough, and good enough, is good enough. Did you let them watch a little too much TV this weekend? Did you raise your voice more than normal? Gave them pizza or sandwiches instead of a meal that included all the food groups? Good enough. They were fed.
In oder to be the best parent we can be in the moment, we need to reality check ourselves... take care of ourselves... put our masks on first... manage our emotions... take short breaks that include peace and relaxation... most parents we work with want to be the best parent they can be... they want to give their children everything in life... they want them always happy, feel no pain, or sadness... and sometimes good enough is just as good. You got this.
Click on the picture below to access the full article by Ten Percent, "How to be a Good Enough Parent."